That's what church is like for a doubter, or at least what church is sometimes like for me, because you're surround by friends who can all see so clearly something that you can't, at least not anymore. Some days you strain really really hard, because you want so badly to see it. Some days you just pretend to see it, because that's honestly all you have energy for in the moment. Some days, some magical, glorious days, you get this beautiful, fleeting glimpse of it and you close your eyes so tight just to keep it from floating away. Some days, days like today, days like this year, you just say, "Friends, I honestly can't see it, but I believe you see it, so I know it must be there." On the good days, that becomes enough.