Thursday, September 12, 2013

What church is like for a doubter

Remember those Magic Eye posters from the 90's? I was always terrible at those. Supposedly, if you look at them in just the right way, a secret image appears.

Whenever I would pass them as a kid, in a store or at someone's house, I would spend several minutes  staring intently per the instructions, waiting and waiting for the image to pop into view. Inevitably, other people would gather around and start saying things like "O I see it!" or "There it is." At this point, I would either asked for help, or just give up and pretend to see it. Rarely, for a fleeting moment, I would get a glimpse of it, or at least think I did.

That's what church is like for a doubter, or at least what church is sometimes like for me, because you're  surround by friends who can all see so clearly something that you can't, at least not anymore. Some days you strain really really hard, because you want so badly to see it. Some days you just pretend to see it, because that's honestly all you have energy for in the moment. Some days, some magical, glorious days, you get this beautiful, fleeting glimpse of it and you close your eyes so tight just to keep it from floating away. Some days, days like today, days like this year, you just say, "Friends, I honestly can't see it, but I believe you see it, so I know it must be there." On the good days, that becomes enough.


  1. That's a really honest portrayal of a Jesus follower.

  2. Wow you've just described me perfectly - guess there are more of us out there! But I'm actually in leadership of the church so I can't say that last line out loud - I just have to think it!! :)

    1. So delighted to hear that someone could relate. Glad I could speak your thoughts for you. : )