Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Almost three months ago, Andy and I began our marriage. Even just in these three short months it has been better and harder and more than we could have ever imagined. Even our wedding day itself wasn't exactly what we set out for it to be. We had planned a nice simple outdoor wedding in the park. We both love the fall, and Andy first told me he liked me on an October 17th so, that being a Saturday this year, we decided it was perfect. We did a little research and found Octobers in Tennessee to have fairly reliable dry and mild weather, so we went for it. We envisioned a barefoot ceremony in the middle of a circle of trees. A few days before the wedding, though, the weather took a turn and we were forced to figure out what to do with our outdoor wedding with temperatures in the fifties and below. We had our hearts set on that park so we worked around it and, for the sake of our guests, gave up on the circle of trees. Instead, we got married under a pavilion where the cold winds wouldn't be quite so harsh. I'm pretty sure everyone was still freezing though. Thank you to all that stuck it out! As you can see, Andy and I decided to still go barefoot and I'm sure we made everyone cold just looking at us. Nonetheless, we got married and everyone survived.
When I think about our wedding the main thing I remember, the thing I think I will always remember, is walking down the aisle towards Andy. Something in that moment just struck me and overwhelmed me. I hadn't even thought about the possibility of crying in the ceremony, but there I was, not even half way down the aisle, and tears are streaming down my face. That exact moment, walking towards Andy, felt so unexpectedly holy. In fact, I think it may have been the holiest thing I have ever experienced, to commit my life to someone else, and for someone to do the same to me. More importantly, for both of us to present those commitments to God and for God to be there and feel so present, more present than I have felt Him in a long time. It was just so overwhelming, so I did what I always do when I feel almost every other emotion, I cried. And Andy cried, and we took a deep breath and got it all out and then we married each other. It was great. I like him a lot. Which is good because then we spent the next two weeks driving across the country with each other, seeing beautiful things we had never seen before and may never see again. We saw the Great Salt Lake, and the Pacific Ocean, and the Redwood Forrest and Fisherman's Wharf and the Grand Canyon. We also saw a whole lot of the Northwest and the Southwest and each other. We had time to just be together, without planning a wedding and without worrying about the future. We played board games and had breakfast for lunch and took walks on the beach. It was hands down the best two weeks of my life. As crazy and stressful as our days are now, I am so thankful for the part of my life that started as I walked toward Andy. It sounds insane, but every day as I wake up, some days at 5:30 in the morning, most days not sure how we are going to pay the next bill, I am still so glad that I made the choice to be with my best friend.